Primal Instincts

Hey guys i have written out a storyline for a new game system but unsure of how good it is can you guy s give me a rating and some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism:

Primal Instincts

The Technological Era:
At the beginning of the twentieth century, mankind made giant leaps in technology. All aspects of human life were drastically improved. In 2010 American scientist John Simpson created a virus that could cure any disease or ailment that currently faced mankind, could mutate to combat future viruses, could repair the worst cases of broken bones within hours. In 2011 a group of Russian scientists had figured out how to bend DNA to give people 'super powers', and after extensive funding by sponsors, the entire emergency services was gifted with these abilities. 2012, and teleportation was invented. Initially used to teleport people across a town, but only one at a time – too slow for what most people wanted. In 2013, teleportation had been improved so much that now it was now being used to teleport 1000s of men at a time to Mars to mine for precious materials. Later in 2013, cloning had been developed to the point where you could clone organs for transplants, and using a combination of cloning and growing the process of cell reproduction and genetic modification could be done much quicker and with far greater efficiency. Food could also be cloned, but was it safe to eat?
Testing was needed, on live subjects, and so the great powers of the world chose Africa. On January 3rd 2015, within a matter of weeks, all poverty in the continent was sorted out, with a 99.9% success rate across the whole continent. 70% of the population of Africa were rich within two months: the other 30% were doing as well as an average middle-class person in the EU.
But as with all new technology and inventions, the human mind inevitably twists it to one purpose: war. By now the world was run off of an energy called Gyrotren, which is created by spinning an atom at very high speeds, giving off kinetic and heat energy which was then harnessed to power in special generators called Gyrators. However, the atom becomes extremely unstable after this process, and any change in the atmosphere around it will cause the atom to spin madly out of control. A collision with another atom would result in an explosion with a radius of approximately 25 miles, and generate 49 miles of Gyro-Radiation, which is about the same strength as nuclear radiation but last 3 times longer.

The Beginning of the End.
On August 3rd 2021, at around 3AM, Russia launched an attack on China, sending in an army hundreds of times the size of anything China could come up with. Within 3 months Russia had take over the whole of China, with almost no resistance left. After that attack, every country in the world went on the defensive, recalling all troops, turning all of their industry into one with a sole purpose in mind: self-preservation. Every country hoped Russia didn’t choose them next, and it was now that the world began to arm itself for Global War. In the year 2025, every country in the world had now built up a military force the size of Russia’s, whilst Russia had been on the prowl: Asia was now speaking Russian, and again almost all of the Asian resistance was crushed. The world was now in deadlock, each country with the same size armies, the same amount of ammunition. All were watching each other, waiting for someone stupid enough to make the first move.

15th June 2027: The move was made. The president of the United States of America was assassinated, and Russia, Al-Qaeda and the entire Eastern world claimed responsibility, and every country reacted instantly: terrified of who was responsible, each country fired their Gyro Missiles, not sure of their targets, not caring much either.
Gyro-Missiles are made using the same theory as a nuclear missile (tightly packed atoms), but the field is reversed: atoms are sucked in, not expelled. The radiation from a Gyro-Missile explosion lasts 3 times longer and the explosion is 4 times larger than a nuclear one: the chain reaction reaches every atom within the radius, sucks them in, then the high concentration of atoms within such a small place forces the atoms to implode against each other, generating a radioactive shockwave that levels cities further away than a nuclear bomb could reach.

The Aftermath
When the thousands of Gyro-Missiles hit the ground, the world was plunged into darkness and covered in a thick layer of radioactive dust and debris. No one knows for sure how long the darkness lasted (as there was no way of telling, the massive quantities of radiation had stopped all the clocks working), but most people have agreed upon between 24 and 27 hours. When the smoke and debris cleared up enough for people to be able to see, after more than a week, what was left was a wasteland: the only surviving structures those that were deep within large cities, where the blast hadn't reached. Once proud cities were now ruined, but not destroyed. Ruins still stood, littered with debris and the remains of bodies. Survivors? Yes, unbelievably there were some, in all the major cities there were survivors: around 100 million people all told at the aftermath of D-Day (Darkness Day). Starvation was rampant: many perished, the old, the young, the week, the poor, leaving only 23 million people in the entire world, the hardcore survivors, those with a natural talent to live. Most of these ran to the nearest cities for the protection, the food sources (many people once lived there), and started to group together, creating fortresses: bunkers, old ruins, even trenches in some open spaces.

So Where Does That Leave Us?
It's now 2040, and we’re still here, hiding inside the ruins of cities, fortifying our new 'homes', and we have banded together into something like a Tribe. As ever though, the trouble isn’t over yet. War is happening between Tribes constantly, over food and living space, the people of the Tribes finding what weapons they could from old ammunition dumps or simply building crude ones from junk found lying around. The Tribes lucky enough to have an ex-scientist in their midst have higher-tech weapons, those with an ex-soldier have been trained extensively in survival tactics, but still the world is in turmoil. Will it ever end?

oh and im writing up rules for it i will post them here tomorrow hopefully does anyone want to play test it with me?

Primal Instincts Rules

Two game types

Assassinate: kill enemy special character
Annihilate: kill or route enemy army

Army sizes:
Primal Instincts is a skirmish game based inside the ruined cities so your Army only consists of 1 scout, 1-2 squads of troops and a special character.

Game Board:
It can be played on any size board but 4’ x 4’ is recommended. The scenery is made up of only buildings put very close together.

Units:
Units statistics a based out like this,

Sniper
M 7
R 48
D 8
A 6
Ar 10
C 6
P 7


M is movement in inches
R is range of weapon (inches)
D is defence
A is Accuracy
Ar is Armour
C is Combat
P is power

Deployment
Just roll a d6 winner chooses which side he wants and whether to deploy second or first.

Movement phase
Pretty basic just move the movement that the units stat says if you have a special character attached to the unit who moves faster take the slower movement. Also during the movement phase you decide if you want to do a special move:

Jump: Single units can jump between the close together buildings to get across the map first d6 5+ makes it 4- you fall to the floor and take a power 8 wound.

Slide: Any unit or character can slide into cover you can slide M-3 inches and only into cover if the slide fails to reach cover your unit must stay where it ended up.

Climb up/down: Any unit, no rolls needed you just climb up to the next floor of a building.

Scale: Single characters can scale buildings d6+C 10+ if you fail you fall to the ground taking a power 6 wound.

Sneak: Scouts can sneak in which they take 2 movement phases instead of shooting and cannot be seen they can us any eligible power in each phase E.G phase 1 he jumps phase 2 he can then slide as well.
Run: Any unit gives up their shooting phase to move double movement.

Shooting Phase:
If the unit used a special movement it forfeits this phase. First choose who you are shooting then measure using rang if the target is above -2 off the range if target is below +2. If there is a special character attached roll a dice on a 6 you hit the character. First roll targets Defence – Accuracy next roll targets Armour – Power if both passed target is killed. When rolling to hit if you score a 1 its out fail and the gun malfunctions you are wounded with a half power hit. Here is a list of special actions used in the shooting phase

Grenade: Units only! two members of the unit throws a grenade half range power 4 small blast. (Only usable every three turns!)

Accurate shot: decrease power to 4 for an auto hit

Cover:
Cover is one of the most important things in Primal Instincts as when your unit is not in cover it has -2 to defence but when in cover it gets bonus.
Cover Chart:
Tall Grass +0
Small Walls

Walls +1
Wrecks

Buildings +2

Fortified buildings +3


Combat:
Combat is the same as shooting but you use combat stat instead of accuracy.

Morale
When half the unit is lost you must take a morale test on their combat score highest score is taken for the whole squad. If the general is dead in an annihilate game its minus 2 to score. If a check is failed the unit is routed and runs its movement each turn. Each turn before the movement phase roll another check to see if you regroup.

The storyline is simple but effective, I like it. Constructive criticism.... Well, grammer for one. If you like, I will go through and correct most of the grammer for you, and re-post the story. What models would be used i.e. W40k, Warhammer, Warmachine etc, or does it matter?

i think to test with we can just use warhammer 4ok models but id like to find a game system with models that more suit the story and if you would correct grammer i would be grateful.

If you ever go to liverpool..

Gamecraft

56-60 Parr St
Liverpool
L1 4JN
Tel: 0151-708 6699

It's ol'skool, but is stacked to the rafters with great models

Could those people from Mars not come back, later on?
Just as an idea for a future campaign...